And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Kahlil Gibran
My reasons for writing.
This article is aimed at any member of the family with access to the children education and a sense of responsibility in this regard.
But especially for those who are parents, or even those who are waiting to be (at any time). Those who want to guide their children towards their own inner compass; as the only guarantee that the Divinity in them will guide them in all stages of their life, will be awake and open; no matter the challenge they are going through as part of their learning.
In my experience as a mother and as a teacher, it has become very clear to me that there are common wishes that most parents want for their children, regardless of how they express them. These could be summarized as: that they are always happy, that they become good people, free of stress, financially independent and capable of experiencing inner peace in their lives. So… what's going on? Because something is clear; and it is that very few of those parents can see the wishes of love towards their children become the reality of their lives.
I intend to offer a point of view that may be useful to you, if, like me, you feel that something is not working at all well in the instituted education, and if you think that everyone can contribute with their own, to global change. This is reflected in all areas of life. Since we are all ONE, what we do for us will have an impact on the whole world, and in the rebound it can benefit so many that you cannot even imagine.
I clarify that, as in everything, it is necessary to have an open mind and a sincere desire to provide your children with the opportunity to be independent, learn from their own mistakes or from the mistakes of others (if they so decide), love themselves as they are; as well as knowing what their innate talents are and putting them at the service of humanity; which will be returned to them in spades. They will not do it to obtain something in return, but to enjoy the process.
It's funny, but the aspects I am referring to are so elementary that each child that is born brings them incorporated. Family, educational, social and/or religious indoctrination mutilates through repetition, punishment, conviction or any other means, the natural connection with the Divine, replacing instinct and inspiration with more and more knowledge. This is mostly useless since the basic spiritual principles that would contribute greatly to the health of the individual and the planet are not taught.
To this is added the competition to be better, which subjects our children to harmful stress from their earliest ages, comparing themselves with others, instead of knowing that they are unrepeatable in the universe and therefore special for the sole fact of being born.
My most sincere intention.
To offer, with love, the result of some of my observations as a teacher to help families who have doubts about how to direct their children into a completely different world from the one in which previous generations were educated.
To contribute to the increasing number of parents who are willing to dare and let their children choose their own way of being happy, consciously participating with them in this beautiful journey that is life.
Encourage all those who have received the privilege of being parents, so that they understand that their children need freedom and love to carry out the experiences they choose to live.
Would you like to contribute to the spirituality of your children?
Regardless of your spiritual inclination, or your religious belief, you must keep in mind that what we really are is spirituality physically manifested. Children instinctively know this.
To healthily develop the spirituality of your children, let it be their choice. Provide a healthy environment; one of nutrition. This can be not only food-related, but a game, a walk, a reading and life itself.
I do not believe it right to instill in children the idea that for God to love them, or to communicate with Him, they must look for Him in the temple, the church, or anywhere else. If knowing that they have within themselves the channel of direct communication with God, they still want to visit the church, there is nothing wrong with that. But don't let it be out of obligation, or under threat of going to hell, but of their own volition.
Teach your children that God lives in each and every one of them, so they may learn that He speaks to us through the heart. If we can practice feeling it, we can decipher divine messages for any moment and situation in our life. To teach them this, you must practice by example.
This is not complicated in itself, but we have been indoctrinated to do just the opposite: if something hurts in the body, we seek a doctor; if we believe that we have sinned, we look for a religious leader; if we feel uncomfortable with work, we seek advice from friends and family. Others escape their realities through substance use, addiction to work, dependence on other people, university degrees, economic status; or they live in a fictional world wanting to show everyone through their social networks how happy and perfect they are. All this while their lives are falling apart because a crowd loves them, but little do they know them, and they hate themselves for having to constantly lie.
Thus, we spend our lives in an unbridled race, looking outside because we do not trust or we are disconnected from our inner being; dissatisfied or unhappy; like something is missing. But there are good news: it is never too late.
Now we must take the leading role in the education of this generation, but not to dominate or subdue them with our ideas from another time. We must guide them with unconditional love towards their inner being, to trust themselves, to find their own wisdom; namely, that no matter how steep a fall may be, you can always get up stronger.
What would be the father or mother that you would have liked to have when you were little?
- Become the person that your children want to imitate. Don't pretend to be who you aren’t, because they will know. Be authentic, flexible and willing to learn.
- Admit when there is something you don't know. Say: "I don't know, but I’m ready to learn."
- Do not think that, because you are an adult, you are wiser. Wisdom has nothing to do with age, nor with accumulated knowledge.
- Teach your child to question everything, including you. If you force him to listen to your advice and follow it, he will also listen to what his friends advise, and he will prefer it, because it will be more fun than your boring sermons.
- Do not think that you need to prepare your children for something. Sharpen their senses, intuition, intelligence and teach them to listen to inspiration. These things are not taught in any school in the world, and they are not developed by gorging children with knowledge. What they need to learn, they will find or ask, and I wish you to be the person they turn to with their doubts. If you also have the same ones, find the answers together, like two friends from different generations.
- Teach with your own doing. Even if you say wise words and elaborate speeches, if you don't do what you preach, don't expect them to believe you; they won't trust you. Words become empty if they are not supported by an attitude consistent with what is said.
- Why do adults stop being fun? The sense of humor is a fundamental pillar of spirituality. Have fun with your children, whether at home, on the way to school or anywhere else. Teach them to laugh at everything, including themselves, and they will never be affected by bullying or harassment.
- Create a sincere bond. Talk to your children as an equal and not as a superior. They need a friend, not a boss.
- Know that, if your answers are not convincing, they will look for them in other sources (online, with friends or whatever influence feels more exciting or fun). You don't want to appear a saint or perfect in front of your children.
- If you don't become their friend, your relationship with your children could be miserable. Many children do things just to annoy their parents.
- Spend quality time with your children. This means paying attention to them, listening to their concerns and responding honestly, being with them for as long as you can, avoiding using electronic devices during this time. This applies to any age, but if you do not do it from their early years, you will have wasted precious time of enjoyment and mutual learning.
- - Keep in mind that buying video games or any electronic device for your children is not synonymous with love for them. It means that they will be entertained and addicted, while you can take care of other matters. This attitude may seem harmless, but when you realize the trap, it will be more difficult for you to regain the relationship.
- Always tell them the truth. If they find out you lie, they will also learn to lie.
- Teach your children to interpret obstacles as signs that it may not be the right time to do something.
- Never try to suppress their emotions (anger, fear, sadness, etc.), in the name of "good manners". Tears that are not cried outwards, are cried inwards, leaving emotional scars that are then somatized in the body, causing diseases.
- Contact, love, and respect for nature in all forms of life, is a very effective way to reinforce the sense of spirituality. Any damage caused to the natural environment affects us all, because we are ONE, the beloved children of the Creator.
- A pet could awaken in your child a sense of responsibility, as long as you do not impose it; let it something spontaneous.
- Imposed discipline works, only if your children fear you (and that is a time bomb). If they hate your discipline, they will hate you too, and they will walk away at the first opportunity.
- Never replace the love you should give your children with material things.
In conclusion:
If you are still on the old path, wanting to protect your child from everything dangerous, you must redirect those energies. Be a fun, vulnerable friend who also makes mistakes and who, if they need you, will be there to help them without interfering with their free will.
Finally, forget about expectations. Do everything out of love, out of pure conviction that it is the truth and therefore a way of living without resistance, and with the ability to admire and accept each thing, moment, or person as it is, even in the case of your children.
